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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26663554">epistle</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadoedseptmbr/pseuds/shadoedseptmbr'>shadoedseptmbr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>L'essai Et Repose [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Mass Effect 2, Post-Horizon (Mass Effect), another horizon letter fic, miscommunication is fun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:47:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26663554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadoedseptmbr/pseuds/shadoedseptmbr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>unopened and then unfinished</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>L'essai Et Repose [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>epistle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The notice blinks in on her screen. <b>one unread message</b><br/>
</p><p>It blinks first a few nights after they leave Horizon, the uneasy hush lingering in the Mess Hall as their silent commander spends endless clips on target practice in the shuttlebay below.<br/>
</p><p>It blinks past Haestrom when she finds Tali and past Illium when she finds out Liara sold her corpse to the highest bidder.<br/>
</p><p>It blinks when she swallows a third drink and a sixth.  When she wakes up on the ground with a gut full of Batarian poison. When Gardner fixes his best hangover remedy again. When she finally swallows the pain long enough to rationally (soberly) defend Tali.<br/>
</p><p>It blinks when she comes back from the Citadel, still feeling the paint of Garrus’ scope on the back of her head.<br/>
</p><p>It blinks as she realizes, sitting at her desk -a few hours too late- she should have told Miranda to go talk to her sister before they left Illium.<br/>
</p><p>It’s still blinking when she tells Zaeed that the people in that plant are worth more than his revenge, when he believes her even if she doesn't.<br/>
</p><p>It’s still blinking when she comes back from Omega, the lingering promise of oblivion of Morinth’s eyes still too close to comfort.<br/>
</p><p> After she wakes up on another med bay bed, after the airlock cycles as Hackett leaves, it's still blinking when she walks straight into the shower, the sound of the water almost enough to drown out a ticking clock and the screaming. </p><p>It’s still blinking every time Kelly hesitantly reminds her that she has an unread message.  And when Kelly’s absence  (Gardner. Daniels. Oh, god, <i>Doc</i>) is a bitter rebuke, Shepard finally clicks the notice.<br/>
</p><p>She gets almost a paragraph in, Kaidan’s rasping, too intimate tone easily imagined because it’s only been <i>weeks</i>, hasn’t it?<br/>
</p><p>Since the last time she heard it; shoulder pressed to shoulder, his lips against her ear as they passed each other on the stairs up to CIC.<br/>
</p><p>She gets a paragraph in.  And has to stop.  <i>Oh.  Okay.  Good for him.</i><br/>
</p><p>
  <b>delete</b><br/>
</p><p>“Hey, Joker? You got the coordinates set for the Omega Relay?”<br/>
</p><p>“Yeah, Commander?”<br/>
</p><p>“We should go.”</p>
  </div></div>
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